Hello creative friends,
I’m excited and (crazy nervous) to share these videos with you today. Why? Well, they document one of my creative processes that went rather awry…like I totally had a meltdown and had to start over! It’s embarrassing in some ways but completely cathartic in others to just be OPEN about it and let you watch the whole thing unravel. LOL!
However, you will see in the second video that I do indeed start over and create something new from the mess I had made. Whew…what a ride!
The best part about watching this for me, is being able to stand back and really witness myself struggle, to remember the negative self-talk that was occurring and to send myself some love and give myself some grace.
You may not know this, but I’m incredibly, incredibly hard on myself. I often don’t accept or assimilate with the successes I experience. This makes me sad and I’m working on it. But, I think, in reality, we are all pretty darn hard on ourselves. Right?
Those cruel tapes that play in our heads love to come out to play when we step towards vulnerability. Towards joy. Towards our true selves.
BUT I DO know this for sure - moving past those taunting whispers of self doubt and submerging deeper into ourselves is where the GOOD stuff is! Where the world becomes still and quiet. Our hands and our hearts move together to create. Color and form, line and light. It can be an arduous journey but it is worth it each and every time.
I hope you watch these videos and recognize your own hesitations or doubts. I hope that you can see that experience doesn’t remove these fears or perfect the process. Fear will always be present in creation. Become aware of it, look it in the face, acknowledge it - then take a deep breath and dive deeper.
As always, I’m sending you so much love and gratitude.